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41+ Best Nick Miller Quotes To Make You Laugh

We all have our favorite characters when it comes to any show and Nick Miller no doubt makes New Girl. If you love him just as much as I do, check out the best Nick Miller quotes and one liners that make him an all around great character!

Best Nick Miller Quotes

short nick miller quote turning lemonade into lemons
1. “Nick Miller: Turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.” – Nick Miller

im not gonna get sick nick miller saying
2. “I’m not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65 percent beer.” – Nick Miller

ive never been an inspiration before quotation
3. “I’ve never been an inspiration before…I don’t like this much responsibility.” – Nick Miller

funny new girl quote about jail
4. “I can’t go to jail! I’m too sarcastic for the white gangs!” – Nick Miller

treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol quote
5. “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.” – Nick Miller

im not convinced i know how to read quotation
6. “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.” – Nick Miller

i like getting older new girl quotation
7. “I like getting older. I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality.” – Nick Miller

funny quote about friends and getting old
8. “Do you know sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you way too long, they got too much on you. I want to have friends to still lie to me because they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.” – Nick Miller

lying makes me sweat funny quotation
9. “Lying makes me sweat. That’s why I can’t play poker or talk to pregnant women.” – Nick Miller

everything has meaning quote
10. “Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.” – Nick Miller

short nick miller saying
11. “I’m on a real rollercoaster of emotions right now.” – Nick Miller

enemy is the inner me best nick miller saying
12. “The enemy is the inner me.” – Nick Miller

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Short Nick Miller Quotes

short and funny new girl quotation
13. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” – Nick Miller

the middle part is going to be awesome saying
14. “I know this isn’t gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.” – Nick Miller

cant believe im the sober one new girl quote
15. “I can’t believe I’m the sober one. That’s actually never happened before in my life.” – Nick Miller

new girl i dont take care of myself short quote
16. “I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.” – Nick Miller

funny short quote about trusting beyonce
17. “Yeah, I’d trust Beyoncé with my life.” – Nick Miller

perfect good forks funny nick miller
18. “I’ve got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms.” – Nick Miller

nothing is ever broken funny quotation
19. “Nothing is ever truly broken.” – Nick Miller

short life sucks quote by nick miller
20. “Life sucks. Then it gets better. Then it sucks again.” – Nick Miller

short new girl quotation
21. “First order of business, we eat their food.” – Nick Miller

drinking to forget short funny saying
22. “Drinking to forget? That’s my sweet spot!” – Nick Miller

Romantic Quotes To Jess

jess new girl greatest person quote
23. “She’s got that giant heart that’s part compass and part flashlight, and she’s just the greatest person I’ve ever met.” – Nick Miller

nick miller to jess quote about falling in love
24. “I fell in love with jess the minute she walked through the door.” – Nick Miller

nick from new girl quote about love
25. “There’s nothing that you could do that would make me love you any less.” – Nick Miller

id do anything for you relationship quote
26. “I realized something. I’d do anything for you, Jess.” – Nick Miller

first time we kissed new girl quotation
27. “This is the coin I had in my pocket the first time we kissed, and I always have it.” – Nick Miller

funny jessica day new girl saying
28. “Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.” – Nick Miller

Hilarious Quotes By Nick

funny quotation about fish breathing water
29. “Absolutely not. No! I don’t trust fish. They breathe water… that’s crazy.”

im trying to eat less doughnuts funny saying
30. “I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less doughnuts.” – Nick Miller

funny nick miller quote about monopoly hat
31. “If you were a hat, you’d be a top hat. But like a really big Monopoly one. And I say that with deepest compliments.” – Nick Miller

funny what is money anyway saying
32. “What is money anyway? It’s just paper that some king on a mountain said was worth something. Gold, I understand; it’s shiny.” – Nick Miller

summers day is not a bitch funny caption
33. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a bitch!” – Nick Miller

funny new girl saying
34. “Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself in any way.” – Nick Miller

nick miller short joke about cell minutes
35. “I bought 10,000 minutes in 1999 and I’m still using them.” – Nick Miller

funny caption about bank is a paper bag
36. “A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls.” – Nick Miller

i dont deal with exes new girl funny quote
37. “I don’t deal with exes. They’re part of the past. You burn them swiftly and give their ashes to Poseidon.” – Nick Miller

short nick miller funny caption
38. “I have decided to give up on women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.” – Nick Miller

naming first born child funny saying
39. “There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson—I lost a bet to Schmidt.” – Nick Miller

hilarious nick miller quote
40. “I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack, and I haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my browser history. I wasn’t building a bomb, I was just curious.” – Nick Miller

kill myself with a fork funny nick miller saying
41. “This place is fancy and I don’t know which fork to kill myself with” – Nick Miller

I’m sure you are on your way to go re-watch new girl after these amazing Nick Miller quotes. Make sure to save your favorites when you need a good laugh or pick me up!

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