We all have our favorite characters when it comes to any show and Nick Miller no doubt makes New Girl. If you love him just as much as I do, check out the best Nick Miller quotes and one liners that make him an all around great character!
Best Nick Miller Quotes
1. “Nick Miller: Turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.” – Nick Miller
2. “I’m not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65 percent beer.” – Nick Miller
3. “I’ve never been an inspiration before…I don’t like this much responsibility.” – Nick Miller
4. “I can’t go to jail! I’m too sarcastic for the white gangs!” – Nick Miller
5. “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.” – Nick Miller
6. “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.” – Nick Miller
7. “I like getting older. I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality.” – Nick Miller
8. “Do you know sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you way too long, they got too much on you. I want to have friends to still lie to me because they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.” – Nick Miller
9. “Lying makes me sweat. That’s why I can’t play poker or talk to pregnant women.” – Nick Miller
10. “Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.” – Nick Miller
11. “I’m on a real rollercoaster of emotions right now.” – Nick Miller
12. “The enemy is the inner me.” – Nick Miller
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Short Nick Miller Quotes
13. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” – Nick Miller
14. “I know this isn’t gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.” – Nick Miller
15. “I can’t believe I’m the sober one. That’s actually never happened before in my life.” – Nick Miller
16. “I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.” – Nick Miller
17. “Yeah, I’d trust Beyoncé with my life.” – Nick Miller
18. “I’ve got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms.” – Nick Miller
19. “Nothing is ever truly broken.” – Nick Miller
20. “Life sucks. Then it gets better. Then it sucks again.” – Nick Miller
21. “First order of business, we eat their food.” – Nick Miller
22. “Drinking to forget? That’s my sweet spot!” – Nick Miller
Romantic Quotes To Jess
23. “She’s got that giant heart that’s part compass and part flashlight, and she’s just the greatest person I’ve ever met.” – Nick Miller
24. “I fell in love with jess the minute she walked through the door.” – Nick Miller
25. “There’s nothing that you could do that would make me love you any less.” – Nick Miller
26. “I realized something. I’d do anything for you, Jess.” – Nick Miller
27. “This is the coin I had in my pocket the first time we kissed, and I always have it.” – Nick Miller
28. “Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.” – Nick Miller
Hilarious Quotes By Nick
29. “Absolutely not. No! I don’t trust fish. They breathe water… that’s crazy.”
30. “I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less doughnuts.” – Nick Miller
31. “If you were a hat, you’d be a top hat. But like a really big Monopoly one. And I say that with deepest compliments.” – Nick Miller
32. “What is money anyway? It’s just paper that some king on a mountain said was worth something. Gold, I understand; it’s shiny.” – Nick Miller
33. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a bitch!” – Nick Miller
34. “Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself in any way.” – Nick Miller
35. “I bought 10,000 minutes in 1999 and I’m still using them.” – Nick Miller
36. “A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls.” – Nick Miller
37. “I don’t deal with exes. They’re part of the past. You burn them swiftly and give their ashes to Poseidon.” – Nick Miller
38. “I have decided to give up on women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.” – Nick Miller
39. “There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson—I lost a bet to Schmidt.” – Nick Miller
40. “I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack, and I haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my browser history. I wasn’t building a bomb, I was just curious.” – Nick Miller
41. “This place is fancy and I don’t know which fork to kill myself with” – Nick Miller
I’m sure you are on your way to go re-watch new girl after these amazing Nick Miller quotes. Make sure to save your favorites when you need a good laugh or pick me up!
